part 4 employee stories

SO, I figured I would take some time and write down some things that I get told, asked, or just things I overhear from day to day. It is amazing what people say. There will also be some stories mixed into it as well. Hope you enjoy.

Now did you give that girl your cell phone number or the restaurants...cause if you gave your number than I can spot you 5 dollars so you can put some minutes on it so she can actually call you.

How do you consider yourself a pimp when you are in your 40's and still live at home with your mom.

I'm sorry, you confused me with someone who actually gives a shit

Who's you is?

I don't trust anything that can bleed for five days and doesn't die

Why does your wig look like a mullet today?

How are you going to be upset that you got fired when you showed up to work drunk and went around telling everyone that you were drunk and you needed help taking care of your tables.

I need that like I need a hole in the head

Lick that and tell me what it is

I can't have kids, all I can do is just make a mess

I am a monulet..do you know what a monulet is, cause that's what I is

How are you going to pay child support to your ex girlfriend, who still lives at your apartment and sleeps in the same bed as you?

When are you going to come over so I can suck your d***

I'm not a ho, I am just promiscuous

As I walk to the back to get an apron out of the closet a server looks at me and says " I don't do coke"...is that random?

How do you give a server a new apron and set them up for a payment plan on it?

Can you help me? I can't find the left handed crab crackers.

Why do you always have gay intendencies?

So, I have to fire this one server on a busy night because I caught them eating off of a guests plate. Now when I confronted them about it, it went like this. Did you just eat the ---off the plate? No, man..So I didn't just see you eat the ---of the plate? No...Then why do you still have a piece of it in your hand? Oh, that...I didn't think you would care...Well, I do and you are fired. Are you really going to fire me over this? No of course not...I just think you would be better suited for the unemployment line than serving tables... Have a nice day.

What ever happened to ---oh, they moved back home. Why did they do that? Their ex locked them up in a storage unit for 2 days so they felt they needed to get away from them for a while.

I got a job paying 75000 a year. I just bought my new BMW and getting ready to buy my new house. Oh really, then why is your suit wrinkled, you are trying to pick up more shifts, and you are still driving the beat up Nissan? Oh, I didn't want anyone to know.

What is an Amish handbag? What is a donkey punch?

You might think that some words are misspelled, but that is how they pronounced it.
There are so many more things that I have to tell you about that I will have to make another part to it later....Stay tuned for more to come...tomorrow is all about the guests....the things you want to say to them but you can't.